Tuesday, September 22, 2009

New Years Resolutions

Yeah, I know, it's September, not January, but I don't make New Years resolutions as the calendar year changes, I make 'resolutions' as my own years change. But I don't like to call them resolutions, I prefer to call them promises to myself. No one but me knows if I break the promise and for the most part, no one but me really cares, but I think it's important to set goals for yourself from time to time, and I think the anniversary of my birth is a good time of year to do it.

So, on August 29th, I had my 29th birthday and began my 30th year of life. In the past year, I have had some amazingly insane shit happen to me, shit that changed my life forever, that changed the way I look at life. And honestly, shit that brought me to a place where I really believed I had dug myself a hole I'd never get out of. But I was wrong. And in the past year, I have learned that nothing happens without a reason. Everything, every little event has a purpose, a meaning that may not be clear at the time, but that in time, becomes clear. I was not planning on having a good birthday. But it was great. Surrounded by people that I love, people that love me, was the very best possible outcome for my dreaded 29th birthday. And the next day, still with the big smile on my face from the night before, I made these promises to myself:

1.) I will let my heart make decisions, as long as my head gets a vote too. And vice versa. It's never a good thing to let one make a decision without the vote of the other.

2.) Read all the labels on my food. ALL the labels on ALL the food. Before I buy it.

3.) Watch less TV.

4.) Make sure to take a little time for myself every day. Even if it means locking myself in the bathroom for 10 minutes.

5.) Get back on the bike.

6.) Keep trying to learn guitar, no matter how frustrated I get.

7.) Try to spend more one-on-one time with each of the kids. They are developing such varied and interesting personalities and turning into such amazing people, I want to make sure they know that they always know they can talk to Mom.

8.) Remember the mistakes I have made. All of them. And be grateful for them, they helped bring me to where I am now.

9.) Take a minute or two each day to remember how lucky I am to have my awesome family and friends, and remind myself that not everyone is as lucky as I am.

10.) Take nothing for granted. All it takes is a minute to change a life forever, good or bad.

And that's it. I can say that while I had no idea I would be here at this time last year, I can't really regret any of it. I have learned a lot about myself in the past year, and I am very grateful for that. So as I begin my 30th year of life, I am not dismayed by my age, I am not afraid of the things I have not accomplished, I am, instead, happy, healthy, and probably most importantly, comfortable in my own skin.